Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Lights and Urine

I remember during my first deployment to South East Asia, we burned our feces and the fumes were noxious. It was what you did though- there was nobody to come suck it up in a truck for you. Over time government contractors have developed means for waste management- in comes the porta-johns. Great!
Really, its great until you are man and you have to pee in the dark. About a month ago my worst nightmare came to pass....
At night I missed! I missed the man cup, but didn't know it until I walked into the “office” and saw my boots covered in what was my piss. Dude.
Now, things could be worse. Women “hover” to pee and all of us have to sit if we want to push out solids. Intro to blue butt if you splash. Ahhhh yes, if you are eating well its going to splash and your white briefs, boxers, boy shorts, and undergarments go to the shade of blue.
What to do.... headlamps! Yes, headlamps when I pee. Im still trying to think for those of us who hover and come up with a cure for blue butt....

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