Wednesday, June 20, 2012

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Home.. Sometimes its good to be me...


15 days later and Im thinking about how my leave went. Alot happened- family, personal, final breaks with a close friend, the unveiling of opportunities... some clarity. The list goes on. 
Time was an issue going into leave and I can look back and say I got time- not nearly enough, but I got it.
Its interesting to see how kids react to when their dad leaves again for another 6 more months- at ages 6 and 9, the girls understand time and how it feels to be separated. Rian’s attempt to hold back tears at the gate to her plane made my eyes water... Sometimes I cant believe how folks outside of the armed services can scoff at the work we do far away from the people we love the most- our children.  It hurts and if you were able to taste it, you wouldn't want to do it again. But some people just have to get the work done.
In 6 months kids learn and grow quite a bit. I had a father/daughter sit down with both girls (separately) and they talked extensively- I learned plenty. Despite calls to stop my methodology of parenting, both girls get IT and love their father accordingly. Kids love structure and if I can give it to them so that they don't roll down the paths of some of the family that they are around, then I am a success and they will be too. At the end of the day, somebody needs to hit them with a dose of reality- its not right to celebrate your 14 year old cousin’s baby shower.
Appreciate what you have when you are away from it. I saw that everyday when I looked through windows in both of my parent’s homes. As I’ve said before, I use that time for contemplation and I thought plenty over the last 15 days. I’m grateful for that time, even though in the back of my mind I knew that some of the views I experienced I wouldn't see for a long time.
Personal accountability and responsibility are the key to growth. If you cant look yourself in the mirror and TRY to make something “right” then you as a person have failed to learn. Failing to learn is counter to what your mortal experience on earth should be. 
Sometimes spending 80% of your day in bed is ok. Again, time to just be.....
 This is a repeat of “stuff” I’ve said before, but cherish every person that came into your life. God brought them in for a reason. Think about it....
Sometimes its ok to just have space. The art comes when trying to deliver the blow so you don't lose that person forever. 
Random thoughts here- there will probably be more as I let the last 15 days marinate...

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